Unconditional Love… Even When Memory Fades
Come, come sit with me…
grab yourself a drink and pull up a chair…
Before we go any further…
If you have a tender heart…
or if this kind of story feels close to home…
take your time with this one.
Maybe grab that drink…
and just sit with me for a bit.
This story has been sitting in my heart for months…
And I thought I was ready to tell it.
But the truth is…
I wasn’t.
Not yet.
Because some stories…
you don’t rush.
You wait until they’re ready to come out.
And today…
I feel like it’s time.
I’m going to talk about one of the most important person in my life.
The woman who shaped me…
the woman who loved me…
the woman who made me who I am today.
My mom.
My mommie.
When people talk about unconditional love…
she lived it… in every way.
When I was little… she was always there with me and the boys.
But there’s one memory…
one that will always stay with me.
I wanted to skip outside… without even holding the skipping rope 😄
So there I was… jumping away…
The boys each had an end of the rope…
and who comes and joins us?
My mom.
Skipping right along with me…
My gosh… the laughter we had that afternoon.
And then there was the time she taught us how to swim…
She would hold us in the pool while we kicked our legs…
encouraging us… steady… right there with us.
And then…
She would let go.
But she never really let go…
because she was watching the whole time.
Making sure we were okay.
The part that stays with me the most?
She couldn’t even swim.
But she got in that pool with us anyway.
I’ve always looked up to her…
admired her…
She had this quiet courage…
this strength about her…
And she was just… beautiful.
But don’t get me wrong…
She was strict too 😄
She didn’t have to yell… not once.
No…
She had the look.
Girl… you know the one.
The look that says, “Do it now… or else.”
😂
And that was it.
You moved.
There’s something my mom said to me my whole life…
👉 “I am not your friend… I am your mom.”
And she meant it.
“You have your friends…
but that’s not who I am to you.”
And you know what?
She was right.
Now don’t get me wrong…
She could talk to me like a friend.
We could laugh…
we could talk…
But the moment I needed to be put in my place?
She did it.
Quick.
No hesitation.
Like in a hot minute.
I could spend hours talking and laughing with her…
Even when we didn’t agree on everything.
But then…
things started to change.
She was slowly pulling away from me…
not talking as much as she used to.
She would forget things…
or repeat herself.
And I remember thinking…
something isn’t right.
I told the boys…
But they thought she was just getting older.
And maybe that’s what we all wanted to believe…
But it didn’t feel right to me.
Then we started noticing more…
little challenges here and there…
And that’s when we knew…
we had to get her checked.
We went with her…
made sure the doctor heard everything…
Because we needed them to understand the full picture.
And after all the tests…
He told us…
she had dementia.
My heart broke.
Because I didn’t fully understand what was coming…
But I knew one thing for sure…
it wasn’t going to be easy.
…
Sorry… I need a minute.
My tower of strength…
the person who loved me unconditionally…
my prayer warrior…
was slowly slipping away from me.
Going to a place I couldn’t reach.
And there was nothing I could do.
I felt helpless.
I cried…
and I cried…
and I cried.
But the hardest part for me and the boys…
was when we had to place her in a home.
I knew it was for her safety…
She would wander…
and anything could have happened…
Because she couldn’t remember.
But knowing that…
didn’t make it easier.
I remember having to explain it to Pop…
That the woman he married…
wasn’t the same person my mom was now.
And that…
was the first… and only time I ever saw him cry.
Gosh…
I remember sitting in front of my brother…
Just crying…
Telling him how guilty I felt…
Thinking maybe I could do this…
or maybe I could do that…
trying to find another way.
He let me have my moment…
He didn’t stop me.
He just sat there…
And then…
he said my name.
“Lisa…”
I looked at him…
And he explained…
why this was the best thing for her.
That it would keep her safe…
That it would protect her.
I lost her… twice.
The day they told us what was wrong…
And the day we had to place her in the home.
She’s still here…
But she’s not the same.
Just a shell of herself.
And I miss her…
every single day.
I would give anything…
To have one more conversation with her.
Just one.
And let me tell you something…
no one…
No one can ever fill her space.
You may have someone in your life…
Who has… or had… dementia.
And if you do…
my heart is with you.
Because this…
is not an easy road to walk.
You have the physical person in front of you…
But their mind…
isn’t there the same way anymore.
And one of the hardest parts?
is when they look at you…
And don’t know who you are.
I became…
the nice lady she would hold hands with.
And let me tell you…
I held onto that.
I took it to heart.
But deep down…
I always hoped…
That somewhere…
Somehow…
she knew it was me.
Her baby.
But even through all of this…
she is still my mom.
The woman who laughed with me…
who skipped rope with me…
who got in a pool even though she couldn’t swim…
that is who she is.
That is who I hold onto.
And no matter what this disease has taken…
it will never take what she gave me and the boys.
So listen to me… please…
tell your parents that you love them.
Because one day…
you may not be able to.
And one thing I know for sure?
my parents knew.
They knew how much I loved them.
Whisper: “Love them while you can… because even when the memory fades, love never truly leaves.” 🌿
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