The Standard We Hold Ourselves To
Come, come sit with me. Grab a drink and get comfortable.
This thought has been buzzing in my head.
We ALL have internal standards we hold ourselves to.
Some of them are beautiful.
Some of them quietly exhaust us.
And lately I’ve been asking myself a hard question:
Are my standards rooted in strength…
or are they rooted in perfection?
Because here’s what I believe my standard is built on:
- Integrity.
- Effort.
- Growth.
- Faithfulness.
- Self-respect.
Those are good things.
Those are solid things.
Those are the kind of values that build a life.
But if I’m honest… sometimes the line gets blurry.
Because there’s another list that can sneak in without us noticing:
- Immediate results.
- External applause.
- Control over timing.
And that’s where it shifts.
Integrity says: Do the right thing, even if no one sees it.
Perfectionism says: It better pay off quickly.
Effort says: Keep showing up.
Perfectionism says: If it doesn’t work fast, something is wrong.
Growth says: This will take time.
Perfectionism says: Time means you’re behind.
Faithfulness says: Stay steady.
Perfectionism says: Push harder.
Self-respect says: You are worthy even while you’re building.
Perfectionism says: You’ll be worthy when it works.
That’s the difference.
One builds you.
The other quietly drains you.
And I don’t think this is just me.
As kids and young adults, we’re told we need standards.
We’re told they matter.
We’re told they define us.
Have standards.
Have discipline.
Don’t settle.
Work hard.
Be strong.
And those things aren’t wrong.
But somewhere along the way…
what if it got twisted?
We live in a world that already has so much pressure.
Pressure to perform.
Pressure to succeed.
Pressure to look a certain way.
Pressure to move at a certain speed.
And then we go and add more.
We add pressure to be perfect.
But why?
Why do we do that?
And who are we doing it for?
I will always live by my standards.
They’re hard-coded into me.
Integrity.
Effort.
Growth.
Faithfulness.
Self-respect.
That’s who I am.
But I also know this —
I don’t need to be perfect.
Because child… I am far from perfect. 😉
Life is hard. We all know that.
So why would we make it harder by trying to be someone we’re not?
Trying to be flawless.
Trying to have it all figured out.
Trying to look strong every second of the day.
That’s not strength.
That’s performance.
And I’m not interested in performing.
I’m interested in living.
Living by my standards —
without twisting them into something that suffocates me.
So my question to you is this:
Will you keep the mask on…
Or will you remove it?
Stay close 🌹
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