A gentle note before you read:
This post discusses depression and mental health from a personal perspective. Please take care of yourself as you read, and step away if you need to. You are not required to carry this all at once.
Come, come sit with me.
After sharing my first post, I realized there was more I wanted to explain — not to relive it, but to help you understand. I want to say this again: no two depressions look the same.
Most of us don’t even realize we’ve started to fall into a depression. As I shared before, I was living my life thinking I was doing okay. I knew the anger was there, the unhappiness, and a million different thoughts running through my head — but I kept going. From the outside, life looked normal.
Then I broke. And I broke hard.
After that, it felt like I was in a desert, just wandering around. The months I spent at my friend’s house were the beginning of rebuilding, but I had no idea how long it would take. Healing takes time, and there is no timetable for it. You really do have to take it one day at a time. Some days were good — and some days were just awful.
I moved closer to my people — still alone, but closer. Getting a new job helped a lot. They had no idea I was working my way out of a depression; they just saw me. And that mattered more than they’ll ever know.
For the first six months, every single day was a battle just to get up and go to work — but I did it. During that time, I kept reading… and, to be honest, I kept praying to God. I know some of you may believe in God, or the universe, or something else entirely — we are all different — but this is what helped me.
I also had a safe place to fall without judgment. I could say anything, and there was never criticism or correction. That place was my mom. Moms just love you unconditionally.
Listen — you don’t get fixed magically. And quite honestly, depression doesn’t just go away. It gets quieter, and you learn the signs of when you might be slipping into another one. When I feel those signs, I do the things that help bring me back. I get around my people, and I talk. This is what works for me.
Depression is hard — for the person living in it, and for the loved ones watching from the outside, not knowing what to do or say.
I had a friend who was going through a depression. She could not admit it, and that was okay — but she got very quiet, and I worried about her. I called my older brother and talked to him about it, and his advice to me was simple:
“Lisa, just let her know you’re there.”
So I called her every three days and left a message, until one day she answered.
Sometimes, just letting someone know you are there — even without words — is everything to the person who needs it most.
You may be the person living with depression, or you may be someone who loves a person who is depressed. Either way, be kind — to yourself, or to them. Take it one day at a time.
And believe me, one day you will wake up and think, okay… okay… I feel good.
Those good days will begin to show up more often. Slowly, gently, they will start to take up more space than the bad ones.
Whisper: If today feels heavy, just breathe. Tomorrow doesn’t need you to be stronger — only present.
If you want to reach out:
You don’t have to carry things alone. If this post spoke to you and you’d like to share a thought or simply say hello, you can email me at:
loveandlifewithlisa@gmail.com
This space is 18+ and judgment-free.
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